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Anyone who has been a step-parent understands the challenges this entails. To be honest I did not have a difficult time adjusting to this nor did my husband. My ex-husband and I had a few minor issues at first but he soon came to relize that the children were happier thus we all were happier. My step-childrens’ mother was not in the picture in 2005 when my husband and I started dating and had not been in the children’s lives but occationally in nine years so I suppose that made it easier to be a step-parent.
When she moved back to Ohio after her second marriage broke up, things went to heck. My poor step-children have been trying to reconnect with her and she is not making it easy at all. I sometimes wonder why she moved back here when all she does is try to get the children to conform to her wants.
Recently, she has been taking the children to two different churches on the weekends she has the children. These are both non-domoninational churches. The children have been taken to the southern baptist church since birth (even with the mother before she left their father), and that has continued every Sunday since. My husband contacted the mother and indicated this was prohibited by law and as he has custody she needed to not continue to take them to any other church than one of the same docterin as ours. Of course this did not go over well, and now we are unsure of what course of action to go with. I suppose a contempt of court could be filed. My husband could refuse to let the children go to visitation on the mothers weekends until she stop taking them to one of these churches. Right now it is difficult to decided. There have been so many things that the mother has done since her return in late 2006 and the children have yet to really connect with her.
Any comments would be welcome.
Tracy: Denying the court ordered visitation would be a mistake. Based on mom’s history, it might just be a passing phase that will pass. “Playing mom” gets old for some mothers. However, if you and your husband make a big deal over it, she will likely persist more. Also, the courts do not like to touch “religion” in custody cases so don’t expect them to tell her she can’t take them to “her church.” Most likely, if you pretend it is okay but keep the children grounded in their faith etc., it should pass, in my humble opinion. mm