Divorce Without Dishonor

Heralding itself as “the new face of divorce,” First Wives World is an online community for and by divorced women. You’ll find useful information, expert advice, news, entertainment, polls, resources and plenty of much-needed support and companionship on this great website for women.

For the more than 40 million divorced women out there, First Wives World promises discovery, inspiration, connection — and fun! Registration is easy (and free!) and provides you with a bi-weekly newsletter covering site news and upcoming regional events. As you browse the site, you’ll find information conveniently divided into special sections — all divorce stages, contemplating, navigating and moving beyond — making it easy to pinpoint the information you need with just a mouse click.

Some of the features won’t want to miss:

• Hot Flashes, the hilarious continuing escapades of a 40-something divorcee with kids written by Grey’s Anatomy writer Mimi Schmir.
• Sarah Farthing’s vlog (video blog) chronicling her journey down divorce’s rocky road and beyond.
• Great articles such as: What Not to Say in Front of the Kids, Unlocking and Living Your Dreams Post Divorce, Don’t Date Him, Girl and Protecting Your Credit When a Marriage Ends.
• Catch up on the latest celebrity divorce gossip: Hoff’s in the House…But Why?
• Kathy Kaehler’s energizing video diary that injects a sense of humor into some great exercise routines.

Dads often feel they get the short end of the stick in divorce — particularly where their children are concerned. While courts today are more apt to award joint custody and protect the father’s parental rights, often majority physical custody is still awarded to the mother. The reality is that fathers usually have to fight for their right to see and spend time with their children. The website DadsDivorce.com provides excellent resources and support for fathers both during and after divorce.

Dads Divorce understands how difficult it is to keep that all-important connection with your children, especially if you’re not living together. They understand the special difficulties fathers face during and after divorce. On DadsDivorce.com, you’ll find helpful articles on parenting, dealing with your ex and father-child relations.

Discussion forums allow you to find get and share advice with other dads. On the “Ask a Lawyer” Q&A page, you can browse frequently asked questions or pose your own. You’ll also find excellent resources, divorce guides, support calculators, probability calculators, custody statues and helpful news articles on the website. Tune in to the weekly podcast at 6:30 p.m. (central) every Wednesday. The show answers call-in and emailed questions. If you’re a divorced dad or a dad still struggling through the process, you’ll find a lot of much needed help and support on DadsDivorce.com.

KidsHealth is our website of the month. Click here for their Tips for Divorcing Parents. Sponsored by the Nemours Foundation, the site is actually three sites in one with landing sites for parents, kids and teens. The award-winning site provides accurate, up-to-date, jargon-free health information you can trust from doctors and medical experts. Here’s just a sample of what you’ll find:

Parents talks about children’s growth and development, emotions and behavior, infections, first aid and safety, doctors and hospitals, medical problems, positive parenting, pregnancy and newborns, etc. — everything a parent needs to know about his children’s health. There’s a what’s new feature that gives you the latest news and urgent warnings. You’ll find plenty of valuable common sense tips on helping with homework, getting your child to stop biting her nails, giving up the blankey, discipline that works, and much more.

TeensHealth has info on babysitting, driving, nutrition, recipes, sex, drugs and alcohol, fitness, etc. and a great Q&A section. It answers all those embarrassing questions teens are afraid to ask but desperately want to know the answers to.  The site is designed to be used by teens and presents information in a straight-forward manner.

KidsHealth talks about health issues on a kid’s level. There are fun questions, interesting facts, games, tips, even a section that explains grown-up health problems in kid-friendly language.

In America, December is a time when families traditionally get together to share the holidays. For families going through separation or divorce, the holidays can be particularly stressful. Collaborative family law and collaborative divorce seek to decrease that stress by placing the emphasis on the needs and welfare of the whole family. I, and my colleagues who practice collaborative family law, believe it provides people with a positive alternative to traditional litigation. To promote that idea and share with you more information about collaborative divorce, the Divorce Without Dishonor website of the month is the website of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP).

The professional organization of those of us who practice collaborative law, the IACP promotes standards of practice, ethical guidelines, professional mentoring, training and resources for professionals, public information and education, and assistance in locating collaborative professionals.

Collaborative family law started in the 1980s when lawyer Stu Webb of Minneapolis, Minnesota rebelled against the vagaries of America’s acrimonious system of litigation. A proponent of mediation and alternate dispute resolution, in 1990, Stu took the bold move of announcing that he would no longer go to court. Instead, he would dedicate his practice to clients interested in working together to negotiate a fair and reasonable settlement. If a settlement could not be achieved, he would withdraw and refer his clients to litigation counsel. This was the beginning of collaborative law.

By 1994, the collaborative law concept had spread to northern California where it merged with an interdisciplinary approach to divorce that was being explored by various family psychologists and sociologists. Partnering with lawyers, financial advisers, mental health professionals and child advocates, psychologists Peggy Thompson and Rodney Nurse had been working to develop an interdisciplinary divorce model designed to support divorcing couples in constructive ways. Collaborative law proved to be the perfect model for their concept and the current interdisciplinary approach of collaborative practice was born.

Founders of the collaborative law movement in California recognized the need for an umbrella networking organization that would facilitate the sharing of information and resources, leading to the incorporation of the American Institute of Collaborative Professionals in 1999. With the spread of collaborative practice through Canada and the United Kingdom, the organization officially changed its name to the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals in 2001. Today the IACP has 3,000 members in 15 countries around the world.

For more information about the IACP, click the link above. For information about collaborative family law and collaborative divorce, click here.

A divorced mother herself, therapist Rosalind Sedacca, has created an excellent new website, Child-Centered Divorce, that I can highly recommend. Built on her own struggles guiding her children through divorce, Sedacca has created a website that can be a valuable resource for parents striving to help their children cope with divorce.

The goal of the website is to provide parents with a support network that addresses the problems parents face with their children during divorce. Articles address the issues concerning the emotional health and welfare of children going through divorce. Parents will find the articles engagingly written and particularly useful. In each article parents will find new understandings and helpful tips they can apply to their own circumstances.

Sedacca shares her highly qualified experience in regular articles on the website and also draws on the knowledge and experience of a variety of experts. Some recent topics include:

• Magical Thinking: When Children of Divorce Blame Themselves
• Children’s Emotional Needs During Divorce and Beyond
• When Children of Divorce Act Out — Caring Parents Step Up!
• Child-Centered Divorce Secrets

Child-Centered Divorce was created this summer by Rosalind Sedacca, a Certified Corporate Trainer, author, national speaker and workshop facilitator. She is the author of the helpful  new book How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children - with Love! (see our October 29 post for a review).

February 2007 - Website of the month:

www.emilypost.com

Good manners and social graces often seem to get lost in our hurried lives. This awesome site is packed with things that we all know, but often lose sight of throughout the day. Just like one of the "Divorce Without Dishonor" practice pointers, "it is healthy to keep things in perspective." Size up your annoyances. Is it worth it to make a fuss over something small, or is it a waste of your emotional time?

Remember:   Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.

Post your tips and resources!, Please. Thank you. Have a wonderful day.