Divorce Without Dishonor

If you are an attorney or professional interested in the practice of collaborative law, an excellent two-day Collaborative Law Basic Training Course has been scheduled in the Baltimore area for Friday, March 14 and Saturday, March 15, 2008. The course is open to attorneys, mental health professionals and financial professionals but is primarily geared to attorneys practicing family law.

The training will be conducted by attorney Sherri Goren Slovin who has practiced law in Cincinnati, Ohio for 27 years. Sherri’s practice is focused on collaborative law, collaborative practice and mediation. She is an Ohio State Bar Association Certified Family Relations Law Specialist and outstanding credentials to the training course:

• Founding member and past chairperson of the Collaborative Family Lawyers of Cincinnati, among the earliest practice groups formed in the U.S.
• Member of the Board of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
• Co-chair of the IACP Practice Group Leadership Committee
• Extensive ADR training, including Harvard Law School’s advanced negotiation skills program
• Author of numerous articles on collaborative practice and collaborative negotiation
• Nationally and internationally sought workshop leader on collaborative family law, collaborative practice and collaborative negotiation
• Named one of the top 50 female lawyers in Ohio by Ohio Super Lawyers in 2004, 2005 and 2006
• Selected by her peers for inclusion in The Best Lawyers in America since 2001
• Awarded the highest rating (AV) by Martindale Hubbell

Registrations received before December 20, 2007 are $425; after December 20, the cost is $450. Space is limited to 40 participants. A Certificate of Attendance will be awarded to those who attend both days of training. Please click here for additional information and to print a registration form.

The course will be held at the Turf Valley Resort located in Ellicott City (Baltimore area), Maryland. A block of hotel rooms has been reserved for course participants at a discounted price. To receive the discount, please mention code CL#27L200 when you make your reservations. Reservations can be made by calling the resort directly at 410-465-1500 or toll-free at 888-833-8873.

If you have any questions, please contact attorney Ali Doyle, Esq. at 443-520-9690, via email at ADoyleLaw@aol.com or click here to visit her website.

Same split with a lot less spat was the humorous definition of collaborative divorce used to headline an excellent article that appeared yesterday in the October 5, 2007 issue of the Baltimore Sun. (Click here to read the full article by reporter Melissa Harris). Collaborative family law is making the news as more people search for ways to divorce without all the blood-letting and acrimony often typical of American divorce.

Collaborative divorce is a team approach in which the divorcing spouses, their respective attorneys and sometimes other professionals work together in an atmosphere of professionalism, calm and respect to dissolve the couple’s family and financial relationships. The brainchild of a Minnesota attorney in 1990, collaborative divorce seeks to decrease the bitterness, length and cost of divorce in America.

Collaborative professionals — attorneys, financial experts, divorce coaches, child specialists — receive specialized training in the collaborative approach and contract to work toward the goal of a mutually acceptable settlement. Collaborative law is dedicated to solving legal issues outside the court system. Should the process break down and the couple decide to take their case to court, the collaborative team, particularly attorneys, is contractually bound to excuse themselves from the case.

Collaborative divorce is not the right fit for everyone. Both parties must be willing to put aside the hurt and anger that accompanies divorce and commit to resolving their differences fairly. Collaborative divorce is particularly effective when a divorce includes children. The collaborative process helps parents learn to communicate effectively and helps build the skills they will need to parent their children successfully but apart.

The Baltimore Sun article follows the divorce of Columbia, Maryland couple Frank and Stephanie Ellis. The Ellises were able to come to agreement about possessions, finances and child custody in four collaborative sessions at a cost of about $14,000, less than half the cost of a typical contested divorce. "The process felt like a business meeting," Stephanie said.

The skill of the collaborative team also helped the couple define and focus on the actual issues of their separation without getting bogged down in their emotions. Frank described a disagreement over how the couple would split a tax refund. "It got to the point where we both had sort of drawn lines in the sand and weren’t going to bend. We took our attorneys and went into separate rooms and had venting sessions. … It’s amazing the things you choose to argue about." Once emotions were under control, the couple was able to reach an agreement.

The Ellises were successfully able to dissolve their marriage and settle child custody issues through the collaborative process. They have come out of the process with the ability to interact and communicate effectively and without acrimony. Their daughter, they say, is healthier and happier because of it.

An uncontested divorce is where husband and wife can reach a decision as to the terms of the divorce without going to trial. While no divorce is truly "uncontested" in the sense that there are no disagreements, these disagreements do not always have to be resolved in court.

Uncontested divorce is the way most people divorce. Compared to the protracted litigation usually involved in contested divorces, an uncontested divorce is simpler, far less expensive and much quicker. Uncontested divorce also offers you and your spouse the opportunity to end your marriage quietly and with dignity. While uncontested divorce is not viable for every divorcing couple, it is appropriate for many more couples than some divorce lawyers like to admit.

Believe it or not, you and your spouse do not have to yet agree on every issue for an uncontested divorce to be right for you. It’s not so much a question of agreement as a desire to minimize the legal expenses badly enough that you are motivated to stop fighting, stay in control, and work together as you end your marriage.

If you and your spouse do not yet agree on each and every issue of your divorce, that just means you have some negotiating to do. Mediation can be a useful tool to help you and your spouse find common ground on the difficult issues facing the both of you.

The most obvious advantage of uncontested divorce is its cost. Generally, an uncontested divorce that stays uncontested is almost always the least expensive way of getting divorced. I’m a big believer in finding the least expensive way to divorce. The simple fact is that any money you can avoid spending on lawyers is money you can use for living expenses after the divorce.Low cost is not the only advantage of uncontested divorce. If the level of conflict between you and your spouse is currently low, uncontested divorce offers a way to keep it that way.

An uncontested divorce is also more private than a divorce battle waged in open court. The terms you and your spouse negotiate and file with the court will be a matter of public record, but the disclosures and proposals made during negotiation can remain private, unlike the dirty laundry aired in open court. 

Another positive attribute of uncontested divorce is that a divorce decree can be obtained much more quickly than in a contested divorce. In Oklahoma, if there are no children of the marriage, a divorce decree can be issued within ten days of the filing of the divorce petition. If minor children are involved, there is a ninety day waiting period. On the other hand, an average time to complete a contested divorce case would be closer to six months or maybe longer depending on the complexity of the case and the level of cooperation between the parties.

Borrowed From:

http://oklahomafamilylawblog.typepad.com

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Margaret H. Oliver, Esquire wrote the following article published in the December 2006 issue of Family Law News, a newsletter published by the Section Council of the Section of Family and Juvenile Law of the Maryland State Bar Association, Inc.

Margaret H. Oliver, Esquire 
Collaborative Law, Mediation and Litigation 
         in Family Law
HODES, ULMAN, PESSIN & KATZ, P.A. 
Big firm talent, small firm appeal.

10500 Little Patuxent Parkway, Suite 650 
Columbia, Maryland 21044 
(Tel) 410-339-5798
(Fax) 410-832-5673 
www.hupk.com

Blended Families/Stepfamilies

            The blended family is becoming increasingly common.  The US Bureau of Census provides the following statistics from the 2000 Census:

• 1300 new stepfamilies are forming every day;
• Over 50% of US families are remarried or re-coupled;
• The average marriage in the US lasts seven years;
• One out of two marriages ends in divorce;
• 75% remarry;
• 66% of those living together or remarried break up when children are involved.

These statistics are not surprising to those of us working in the field of family law.  They do, however, provide insight into the issues that face blended families, particularly as it relates to children

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