Divorce Without Dishonor

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful things you can do to heal from divorce, and it may also be one of the most difficult. But forgiveness is not just a one-way, or even a one-time thing.

It may seem obvious to forgive our exes, and it’s something we may have to do several times a day until our emotions allow us to put our energy entirely into the present. What is less obvious is that we often need to forgive ourselves. We need to remember that we did the best we could with what we knew at the time. Now that we know better, we can do better. And if children are involved, we can teach them what we’ve learned.

It can be just as powerful to ask for forgiveness. In private moments in communion with our spirits, we can ask forgiveness from anyone we feel might have been hurt or disappointed by our divorce—even God, or own bodies that have been put through the wringer with the stress. We are here for giving—forgiving is one of the life lessons we all need to be our best selves.

There is no way we can control the situations that life may bring us, but we can control how we respond to these situations. The power of choice is ours, and it allows us to see old events in a new way. 

Looking back at our old choices, we can make the new choice to interpret them in ways that empower us.  We can see where our choices may have been acting against our highest goals, and can make the choice to learn from them, and then choose to behave differently starting right now.  For example, we can choose to respond rather than react when old wounds or disagreements are brought up, and in making that choice, we take control in a whole new way and become the designers of our own new realities.

When it comes to choices involving child custody, this can be especially challenging, which is why our book about collaborative divorce, “STOP Fighting Over The Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations” was written. To find out more about the book, visit the STOP Fighting Over The Kids book website.