Separations and divorces are messy affairs. The decision to end a marriage is usually fraught with strong and conflicting emotions. Often one party is unprepared and may feel blind-sided by the announcement that the marriage is ending. Sometimes the raw emotions of separation and divorce erupt into physical or emotional abuse. Before separating, you should have a plan to ensure your safety.

These steps, suggested by counselor Jo Ann Simmons, may help you cope with separation and its emotional turmoil:

• Set up a safe environment to live in. Don’t hesitate to get help for you and your children. Good sources of help are churches, counseling centers, hot lines and community crisis centers.
• Get spiritual support. Spiritual support can help you get through the many crises that lie ahead. It can inspire you and give you much needed hope.
• Ask for and accept the help of family and friends. You can’t do this alone. You will need as much help as you can get. Give your family and friends an opportunity to show their love.
• Get professional help. Enlist the aid of a therapist or counselor to help you get through this difficult time. You’ll need a guide to help you focus on the important things and not get bogged down in unproductive emotions.
• Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat right, get your rest. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your children.

Filed under: Abuse Issues, Healing From Divorce | Tagged: collaborative divorce, divorce, divorce without dishonor, separation