Divorce Without Dishonor

If you are an attorney or professional interested in the practice of collaborative law, an excellent two-day Collaborative Law Basic Training Course has been scheduled in the Baltimore area for Friday, March 14 and Saturday, March 15, 2008. The course is open to attorneys, mental health professionals and financial professionals but is primarily geared to attorneys practicing family law.

The training will be conducted by attorney Sherri Goren Slovin who has practiced law in Cincinnati, Ohio for 27 years. Sherri’s practice is focused on collaborative law, collaborative practice and mediation. She is an Ohio State Bar Association Certified Family Relations Law Specialist and outstanding credentials to the training course:

• Founding member and past chairperson of the Collaborative Family Lawyers of Cincinnati, among the earliest practice groups formed in the U.S.
• Member of the Board of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
• Co-chair of the IACP Practice Group Leadership Committee
• Extensive ADR training, including Harvard Law School’s advanced negotiation skills program
• Author of numerous articles on collaborative practice and collaborative negotiation
• Nationally and internationally sought workshop leader on collaborative family law, collaborative practice and collaborative negotiation
• Named one of the top 50 female lawyers in Ohio by Ohio Super Lawyers in 2004, 2005 and 2006
• Selected by her peers for inclusion in The Best Lawyers in America since 2001
• Awarded the highest rating (AV) by Martindale Hubbell

Registrations received before December 20, 2007 are $425; after December 20, the cost is $450. Space is limited to 40 participants. A Certificate of Attendance will be awarded to those who attend both days of training. Please click here for additional information and to print a registration form.

The course will be held at the Turf Valley Resort located in Ellicott City (Baltimore area), Maryland. A block of hotel rooms has been reserved for course participants at a discounted price. To receive the discount, please mention code CL#27L200 when you make your reservations. Reservations can be made by calling the resort directly at 410-465-1500 or toll-free at 888-833-8873.

If you have any questions, please contact attorney Ali Doyle, Esq. at 443-520-9690, via email at ADoyleLaw@aol.com or click here to visit her website.

You won’t see these things on your children’s Christmas lists this year, but these are the things that children want and need from their parents not just on Christmas, but every day of the year. If you and your spouse are separated or are going through a divorce, it is particularly important to provide your children with these things to ally their fears and assure them that they are loved.

• Love. Tell your kids you love them every single day. They need to hear those very important words, I love you. Give your kids plenty of hugs; physical touch is comforting and reassuring.
• Time. Show your kids you love them by spending time with them: attend ball games, go to school programs, sit down for a chat, eat dinner as a family, play a game of catch, go for a walk together or cuddle up and read a story. Every day make sure you spend some time with your child when you can truly focusing on your child without distractions.
• Praise. Complement your child. Praise your child every chance you get. Tell him every day how proud you are of him.
• Self-confidence. Build your child’s self-confidence by showing him you have confidence in his abilities. If you show him you believe he can do something, he’ll believe it too.
• Limits. Children need to learn what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t. Show them the limits and set age-appropriate consequences. Limits make children feel safe. Children learn to set internal limits for themselves by having external limits set for them by their parents.
• Consequences. One of the greatest thing you can teach your child is that his actions will always have consequences. Consequences teach children to take responsibility for their actions.
• Consistency. Consistency builds trust. Children feel safe when they know what is going to happen. If you promise your child you’ll do something together, make sure you follow through. Show your child he is important to you.
• Friends. Children need friends their own age who share their interests. Understand and promote this healthy need by participating in activities where your child can make friends.

In America, December is a time when families traditionally get together to share the holidays. For families going through separation or divorce, the holidays can be particularly stressful. Collaborative family law and collaborative divorce seek to decrease that stress by placing the emphasis on the needs and welfare of the whole family. I, and my colleagues who practice collaborative family law, believe it provides people with a positive alternative to traditional litigation. To promote that idea and share with you more information about collaborative divorce, the Divorce Without Dishonor website of the month is the website of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP).

The professional organization of those of us who practice collaborative law, the IACP promotes standards of practice, ethical guidelines, professional mentoring, training and resources for professionals, public information and education, and assistance in locating collaborative professionals.

Collaborative family law started in the 1980s when lawyer Stu Webb of Minneapolis, Minnesota rebelled against the vagaries of America’s acrimonious system of litigation. A proponent of mediation and alternate dispute resolution, in 1990, Stu took the bold move of announcing that he would no longer go to court. Instead, he would dedicate his practice to clients interested in working together to negotiate a fair and reasonable settlement. If a settlement could not be achieved, he would withdraw and refer his clients to litigation counsel. This was the beginning of collaborative law.

By 1994, the collaborative law concept had spread to northern California where it merged with an interdisciplinary approach to divorce that was being explored by various family psychologists and sociologists. Partnering with lawyers, financial advisers, mental health professionals and child advocates, psychologists Peggy Thompson and Rodney Nurse had been working to develop an interdisciplinary divorce model designed to support divorcing couples in constructive ways. Collaborative law proved to be the perfect model for their concept and the current interdisciplinary approach of collaborative practice was born.

Founders of the collaborative law movement in California recognized the need for an umbrella networking organization that would facilitate the sharing of information and resources, leading to the incorporation of the American Institute of Collaborative Professionals in 1999. With the spread of collaborative practice through Canada and the United Kingdom, the organization officially changed its name to the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals in 2001. Today the IACP has 3,000 members in 15 countries around the world.

For more information about the IACP, click the link above. For information about collaborative family law and collaborative divorce, click here.

Gossip is the only sound that travels faster than sound.