Entries (RSS)
Same split with a lot less spat was the humorous definition of collaborative divorce used to headline an excellent article that appeared yesterday in the October 5, 2007 issue of the Baltimore Sun. (Click here to read the full article by reporter Melissa Harris). Collaborative family law is making the news as more people search for ways to divorce without all the blood-letting and acrimony often typical of American divorce.
Collaborative divorce is a team approach in which the divorcing spouses, their respective attorneys and sometimes other professionals work together in an atmosphere of professionalism, calm and respect to dissolve the couple’s family and financial relationships. The brainchild of a Minnesota attorney in 1990, collaborative divorce seeks to decrease the bitterness, length and cost of divorce in America.
Collaborative professionals — attorneys, financial experts, divorce coaches, child specialists — receive specialized training in the collaborative approach and contract to work toward the goal of a mutually acceptable settlement. Collaborative law is dedicated to solving legal issues outside the court system. Should the process break down and the couple decide to take their case to court, the collaborative team, particularly attorneys, is contractually bound to excuse themselves from the case.
Collaborative divorce is not the right fit for everyone. Both parties must be willing to put aside the hurt and anger that accompanies divorce and commit to resolving their differences fairly. Collaborative divorce is particularly effective when a divorce includes children. The collaborative process helps parents learn to communicate effectively and helps build the skills they will need to parent their children successfully but apart.
The Baltimore Sun article follows the divorce of Columbia, Maryland couple Frank and Stephanie Ellis. The Ellises were able to come to agreement about possessions, finances and child custody in four collaborative sessions at a cost of about $14,000, less than half the cost of a typical contested divorce. "The process felt like a business meeting," Stephanie said.
The skill of the collaborative team also helped the couple define and focus on the actual issues of their separation without getting bogged down in their emotions. Frank described a disagreement over how the couple would split a tax refund. "It got to the point where we both had sort of drawn lines in the sand and weren’t going to bend. We took our attorneys and went into separate rooms and had venting sessions. … It’s amazing the things you choose to argue about." Once emotions were under control, the couple was able to reach an agreement.
The Ellises were successfully able to dissolve their marriage and settle child custody issues through the collaborative process. They have come out of the process with the ability to interact and communicate effectively and without acrimony. Their daughter, they say, is healthier and happier because of it.
