Divorce Without Dishonor

ROY E. DISNEY FILES FOR DIVORCE IN LOS ANGELES TO END 52 - YEAR MARRIAGE                         On January 16, 2007 the Associated Press reported this breaking news.

     Roy E. Disney filed for divorce from his wife, Patricia, on Friday, citing irreconcilable differences, according to the Los Angeles County Superior Court filing. "This has been in the works for a long time. They’ve just decided to move forward with their lives," said Clifford A. Miller, managing director of Shamrock Hoildings Inc., the Disney family’s investment company. Roy, 77, and Patricia, 72, have four adult children. They agreed to treat the divorce as a collaborative law case, which means each will try to cooperate to reach a settlement out of court, according to the divorce papers. "It will be privately and collaboratively worked out, and it will never go to court, according to Forrest S. Mosten, Roy Disney’s attorney. Mosten declined to discuss any facts of the case. Disney is nephew of Walt Disney and one of The Walt Disney Co.’s major shareholders.

     If colloborative resolution is good for the Disney family, shouldn’t that tell us something about the benefits of Collaborative Family Law?

Please post your comments!

     There are plenty of books on divorce, child custody and visitation disputes. There are countless articles on strategies to win child custody, litigation tactics and related war stories.  There are increasing numbers of books on mediation, collaborative law practices and on dealing with ex spouses and the consideration needed in raising children of separation and divorce. When dealing with the dynamics and complexities of family law cases it is difficult to find a book that address situations in a

Generally speaking, mediation can never hurt when trying to resolve child custody and child access issues.

            It is very common to feel nervous and even intimidated by the mediation process. By being cognizant of some important considerations, you can ease the tension and focus your efforts on becoming proactive in a solution oriented exercise. Your mindset going into mediation is vital to its success. It is indeed an exercise and proper mental conditioning is essential.

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    Good listening skills are essential in working out disagreements in custody and visitation disputes. Often we do not hear what we think we hear and we therefore say and do things that others feel differently about, sometimes in a good way, but often not. A recent, off color joke illustrates the point…..

     A young vivacious student nurse gingerly administers an upper body sponge bath to a man hooked to an oxygen machine. "Nurse" the man mumbles, from behind the oxygen mask, "Are my testicles black?"

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One book I recently recommended to a client was a "must read" for him. According to my client, I earned my fee just for recommending it! The book is Divorce Poison by : Warshak.

I was thinking of doing a summary of what the book covers and then pulling some quotes out etc: Like @ page 160, for example: "If your children view your ex as all good and you as all bad, try to help them understand that ambivalence in relationships is normal. Explain that everyone has good and bad points, and that parents and children don’t stop loving each other just because they are not perfectly good all the time. Gently remind them of some of the negative things their other parent has done and explain that these do not wipe out all the good that parent has done. Don’t let your anger keep you from thinking of your ex’s good points; in most cases the alienating parent has done many things over the years on behalf of the children. If your children grasp the concepts that no one is perfect and that it is okay to have mixed feelings about people you love, they will be less apt to view you in an entirely negative light."

    I have about 10 books that are helpful for those "on the path." I intend to put reviews of books that should be read on my site’s "RECOMMENDED READING SECTION." If you would like to recommend any boofks or resources, please let me know. Thank you. mike@mikethelawyer.com

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