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Do you believe that you have you been screwed by your ex, your divorce lawyer, a judge, the system?
Please share your story on this thread. The purpose is not just to create a meaningless "complaint department." It is intended to help "new-bees" (those new to the divorce process) realize that litigation does not usually end in a positive outcome, especially when children are involved. People need to realize that much more time and effort needs to be spent in trying to avoid going to court rather than preparing to "prove your case" in court. While there are times when litigation is needed, more often than not, hindsight says otherwise. What do you think?
Help others by posting your comments to the "Hall of Shame." Post your comments here. Thank you for sharing!
I think the emphasis is too negative. I click on “Readers’ Stories” and am looking for some positive role models on how to do a divorce well, not the negative stuff–I can get that on the street, from friends, family, any day. Why not feature some positive stuff so those of us trying to divorce humanely can be inspired?
Dear Tangi:
Great idea! Thank you for the very important post. You are absolutely correct. I will take that approach too in future posts! Thanks again!
Dear Tangi,
I can certainly understand your frustration, as well as your need to hear “positive stuff.” As an experienced divorce coach who has been working with divorcing couples for many years, I wish I could say that divorcing couples could give you the positive perspective you are looking for soon after their collaborative divorce. Unfortunately, the positive perspective after any divorce requires a certain amount of time and healing. And the positive comments tend to come from children sooner than they come from their parents. If you look at the research over the past 20 years on children (who are now grown) and the the impact the way their parents handled the divorce had on them, they will tell you that the parents who kept their interests as children front and center are the parents who are most appreciated. And children of parents who placed their children first had far better emotional health as they got older. Collaborative law is a means to that end. Divorce coaches and child specialists help to keep both parents’ focused on their children’s well-being. Litigation will never ever do that. Perhaps other coaches, child specialists or adult children of divorce could respond with their own experiences.