Entries (RSS)
- A woman’s perfect breakfast: She is sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee waiting for her personal trainer to arrive. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton!
- A woman’s revenge: As the clerk at Nordstroms folded the items the woman wished to purchase, he asked, "Cash, check or charge?"
As she fumbled through her wallet, the young cashier noticed a remote control for a television set inside the lady’s purse.
"Mam, do you always carry your TV remote, " he politely asked.
"No, " she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
A few more…..
- A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep." the wife replied, "in-laws."
On WORDS:
- A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day…
30,000 to a man’s 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
On CREATION:
- A man said to his wife one day, "I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain, jack ass; God made me so beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so that I would be attracted to you!"
On THE SILENT TREATMENT:
- A man and his lovely wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to give in by breaking the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left the note where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover that it was 9:00 AM and he missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife had not wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
